How can I not love You?
by say-chan
Summary: [UPDATE!] Are Ray's feelings for Mariah over? Or will some walk around the cemetery make him forget? Or will she change his feelings? [a love only for comfort...] Please R&R! pleads it will be something cannon... rm
1. A Love Lost

**How Can I Not Love You** by: say-chan 

**disclaimer:** Sadly, I do not own beyblade. So, don't sue me! ^-^ I also don't own the song... It's by Joy Enriquez... It's a very lovely song, so if you have time, download it! You won't regret it. Take it from me. [wahehehe, I'm only plugging becoz I used the song ^-^] I only own the plot and the OC. Oh and btw, this is my first attempt on going beyblade... So, go easy on me... Wahehehe... writers are getting very lazy these days. *grins sheepishly* enjoy! ^-^ [reviews badly needed]

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_*...*_ thoughts

"..." dialogues

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Prologue: A Love Lost 

_**"How can I not love you? What do I tell my heart? When do I not want you here in my heart? How does one walks away from all of the memories? How do I not miss you when you are gone? How can I not love you... When you are gone..."**_

{Ray's POV} 

"Mariah..." The word escaped my lips as I looked far into the vast scenery. The mountains were caped with puffy clouds. The trees swayed with the gentle wind, caressing my cheeks softly. The moon shone overhead with the beautiful ceiling of stars in the azure sky.

Since she died, unbelievably, I was **still** thinking of her. _*Get over it, Ray. Mariah **is** dead. And it's **your** fault she didn't know what you felt for her*_ I scolded myself in my thoughts. I know, I know. I must not be thinking of her. I must get over it. I must be brave, I must be strong. I must go on. 

I lost Mariah because of my insolent behavior. I was disgusted of the way I acted towards her. I didn't tell her how I felt. _*Darn, Ray, must **you** be so insensitive?!*_ But that's the way I am. Oh, shoot. I was talking to myself again. Since Mariah was gone... what else is there to think about but bey blading?

I looked at my hand as Driger's bit gleamed in the moonlight. Bey blading, yeah, right. Because of this, I lost my Mariah. Hey, what am I saying? Mariah was **never** mine... She was just enslaved in her own feelings. Why didn't I even tell her? Her last agonizing minutes were never repaid. Her devotion, concern and piety brought nothing but more pain to her until her death.

That look in her eyes as she was saying farewell to me and to her brother, it made my heart ache so bad. I wanted to pick her up from that hospital bed, hug her tightly, kiss her and tell her what I've been feeling for her since who knows when. But I couldn't. My pride never allowed it. 

I wouldn't want to lose someone special again. The feeling of regret was bothering me until now. How can you not love an angel sent by God from heaven? But as they say... These perfect angels die... Because God wants them close to Him. To hell with that stupid saying! I can't just get over her! **I LOVE HER **for goodness' sake! _ *So why didn't you tell her?*_

My thoughts contradicted with what I felt for her. I wanted to tell her, but I didn't know where to start. _ *That's the problem with you, Ray. Get over it. You let **her** go yourself.*_

I closed my eyes and tightened my grip on Driger. Argh! How long will I be bothered by these thoughts?! I sighed deeply and opened my eyes. I took out Mariah's bit beast from my white shirt. The bit hung from my neck with a silver chain. It seemed to sparkle with the moonlight. Like the tears that fell from my eyes. And now that she's gone...

I miss her.

A/N: 

Hi everyone! ^-^ hehehehe... Hmm... A new environment again... I wanna try another for a change. I think I'll be sinking on the bey blade craze for quite a while coz ideas are flying everywhere. Whew... Every problem keeps me from writing... So... Sorry! ^-^

And now for my credits! To my **twin** [even if you don't watch bey blade], **Joy**, **ChinaEyes**, **-bentesiyete-**, **Raine**, **Kitzune**, **Yasu**, **Eunice, Bez, Dino, JM, Kare, 1mig , April, BnB**... hmmmm... To **Hokage** clan, **Zoner**, **SmS**, and to all the chatters in **fastgames **and ** pldtplay**, to my friends, **pookies**, **mike**, to my fellow writers, **tensaispira**, **Reeza**, (and yer **sis** ^-^) to the peepz in my yahoo groups [**obab_senkosh29**, **ff.net_filipino_writers**] correct me if i'm wrong and to the people who reviewed my previous fics... hopefully they'll get done if my other pc's gonna get fixed and my precious files don't get deleted... =( ***sniff*** and if you have time, try to check out my other fics, too... ^-^

Oh and btw, **R & R** please? ***puppy dog eyes***

signing off [for now!],

say-chan ^-^

[and yeah, if anyone asks, i am a filipino... ^-^ you guys can reach me through ym at this id: **blacklist_chaos23**...]


	2. Boy meets Girl

**disclaimer:** whew... so much for the last chappie.. i know it was real short... so here's the follow up! ^-^ btw, i still don't own beyblade... *sobs* tnx to those who reviewed... *bows* i really appreciate it... oh, and before i forget, the song down below... i dunno who sang it... and i think the title's "until i get over you"... ^-^

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_*...*_ thoughts

"..." dialogues

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Chapter One : Boy meets Girl 

_**"The sun won't shine since you went away... Seems like the rain's falling everyday... There's just one heart where there once was two... That's the way it's gotta be, until I get over you..."**_  


{Ray's POV} 

The sun shone through the crack on the curtains. It fell directly on my face. I slowly opened my eyes as I shielded them from the rays that blinded them. It was another new day. I sat up from my bed and held my head in my hands. _*It's over, Ray.*_

I stood up and walked towards the bathroom. I looked at myself on the mirror. Who is that person staring back at me? I didn't even know myself. I was simply going crazy. My feelings exploded in my heart. I couldn't differentiate one from another. I couldn't recognize my own self anymore. I sighed deeply and took a bath.

After putting clothes on, I rushed downstairs. I was about to open the front door when...

"Hey, Ray!" Tyson waved from the dining table. His mouth was filled with food, as usual. Kenny put down his teacup on its saucer. "Good Morning, Ray." he smiled. "`Morning guys." I said. Max smiled at me. "Why don't you join us, Ray?" he asked.

I faked a smile. "Nah, I just gotta go out for a couple of minutes. I need to get some fresh air. I'll be back soon." I said , finally stepping out of the door. "You better. Practice is at ten." I heard Kai mutter silently. I just heard it the same way.

I put on my light blue cloak and started to walk towards the vast scenery. Something was bothering me. And I'm quite sure of what it was. I started towards the cemetery. The light China breeze carried the leaves away with a soft gust as I walked towards her grave. She died because of an epidemic that spread in our homeland. I grasped my hand tightly. _*Why didn't I let you know, Mariah?!*_ It has been one long year since she died and that epidemic has been treated. But I **still** wasn't over her. I blamed myself for things that **cannot** be redone. "If only I could-" I said softly.

How does one walk away from all the memories? We've been together since childhood. And since then I've been yearning to tell her how I really felt towards her. I was confused of what I felt towards her. I was afraid to tell her what I've known all along. Why did she ever have to leave me?

Thousands of questions erupted in my brain. Millions of words, I couldn't even explain. What was I to do when she's now up there? I hope my prayers reach her. I really do. I sighed as I lit the incense sticks that were in front of her grave. I placed freshly picked flowers on her tombstone. I turned my back away from it and started walking away. I left all my questions to her. Every single thing in my mind. Her pretty smile, her cheerful laugh, her hopeful eyes... everything... I walked away, every step heavier than the other. I was ready. I was ready to forget her.

Head down, I started to walk out of the graveyard. My head was spinning in every direction. Probably because I skipped breakfast. I continued walking until I bumped into someone. The flowers in her hands fell into every direction. "Oh, I'm sorry." a feminine voice muttered. The girl started to pick up some of the flowers. "No, I was the one who bumped into you. I'm sorry if I caused you trouble." I said, helping her.

"Not at all. Thanks." she said as she looked up at me with a smile. I was taken aback with her appearance. Her raven black hair was tied up in a pony tail, some tendrils falling here and there. Her blue eyes looked at me with cheerfulness. She was shorter than me, about the same height as Max. She actually looked like-

"Hey, are you okay?" she asked me. This snapped me out of my reverie. I shook my head slightly and smiled nervously. "Yeah, I am." "You know what? Lemme help you with those stuff, is it okay with you?" I asked.

She laughed. "The question is, is it okay with you?"

I grinned. "I insist." She handed me a couple of flowers. "Thanks again."

"No prob." I followed her towards one of the funeral rooms. _*Whoa, this place gives me the creeps.*_ She opened the transparent glass door and let me in. "You can put those over here." she told me.

I looked at the platform where a white coffin lay. It was outlined with brass and copper. I sat down one of the benches as I watched the girl arrange the flowers on a small glass vase.

"Uhm... How are you related to him?, that is if you don't mind me asking." I asked curiously with an indirect point to the coffin. "Oh, he's... he's my father..." she replied with a soft whisper. The cheerfulness left her eyes that very instant. I could feel the glee in her spirit wash away with the words she said.

"Oh... I'm sorry..." I said, correcting myself in my thoughts. _*Stupid Ray!*_ "No... uh... I'm fine..." she replied again. But she was not. I know the feeling of being left by someone important to me. I was about to share it to her but I figured it wouldn't be proper.

A long silence went after her words. I was still bothered by my thoughts and so was she. I looked out the window. "Uh, how about you? What brings you to a place like this?" she asked as she broke the ice.

That same instant, Mariah's smile flashed inside my head. I looked down on the ground. "Uh... I was just... visiting an old friend of mine... She died almost a year ago...." I whispered silently. She stayed quiet, probably because she didn't know what to say. "Uh- are you... all alone?" I asked. It was my turn to break the ice. "Yeah... I am..." she replied.

"Hey Ray! Where are you?!" Someone's voice called from outside. It was so loud that the voice echoed in my head. _*Darn, I think that's Tyson out there.*_ I looked down on my watch. _*What the?! It's almost 11?! I am so dead.*_ I stood up suddenly. "Hey, uh, I gotta run. My friends are expecting me... Nice meeting you, see ya!" I said as I rushed outside.

"Yo, Ray! Where were you? We have been looking for you for about half an hour now." Max said. "Yeah, Kai's gonna get berserk on me again, will he?" I asked. "Oh, I have a good feeling that HE will." Max teased. "Ooh... I was right, Maxy. He **was **here. I knew it! Better give me that ten bucks you promised!" Tyson said, grinning. Max took out a ten dollar note from his pocket. "Oh, shoot, there goes my allowance." He then turned his attention to Kenny. "Next time, kindly remind me not to make a bet with Tyson." he said. Tyson did a celebratory jig waving the ten dollar bill above his head. He turned to Max, fanning the ten dollar bill. "Better luck next time, **Maxy**." "Oh, stop it Tyson or I'll get that back." Max said. Tyson hugged his ten dollar bill. "Hey! I won the bet! You can't can't take this back!" 

I raised an eyebrow at Tyson. "What do you mean?" I asked curiously. "Well, China + graveyard = Mariah, right?" Max said as he grinned, too. "The equation doesn't quite add up correctly. How did you know I was here?" I asked again. "Look, Ray, since Mariah left this world, you have been acting so strange." Max said.

"Yeah, you were bawling like a baby when her coffin was buried 6 feet below the ground." Tyson laughed.

I felt my cheeks turn slightly pink. "I was not!" I countered. "Look, guys, we have no time for this. We are way out of schedule!" Kenny said. "Sure, Chief. Let's go." Max said.

"You guys go on ahead. I have to say goodbye to the girl I met a while ago." I said. I felt Max and Tyson look at me with wider grins on their faces. _*Oh brother, my stupid mouth. Here they go again*_

"A girl huh? I thought you were so desperately in love with bey blading that you didn't recognize girls?" Max asked, smiling. "Yeah, Ray. It's only been a year since Mariah left you and you're looking for someone else?" Tyson said. Tyson did an impression of Mariah. "Oh, Ray, I couldn't believe you could replace me that easy!" He laughed and so did Max. "Tyson!" I warned. "So, Ray, who's the girl?" Max asked as he nudged my rib. I felt my cheeks flush.

"Ray?" Kenny asked. "Hey, you okay, dude? We're sorry about the Mariah thing..." Max apologized. "Yeah, we are." Tyson nodded. I stopped dead on my tracks. Events recurred in my head.

"I--" I whispered. "Huh? What's that you said, Ray?" Max asked, leaning closer to me. I gulped silently. "Ray?" Tyson asked.

"Aaaaah! I forgot to ask her name!"

A/N: 

Hey peepz!

Say-chan's back... oh well... Lemme see... This chappie is longer! ^-^ More on the humor side though... Who's that girl? Hehehehe... Who knows? Check it out on the next chappie... I think the next will be the last... Coz this is just a ficlet from this REALLY LONG fic joy and i were like constructing. I'm really not sure of the ending... I may add a couple of chappies after this... Just for the OC's character development... I think this piece o' crap might go along to about 6 or 7 chapters... Minimum of 3 though...

OKay, now to mah ever-long credits... **To those who reviewed**: you guys rule mah world! ^-^ hehehe... thanks a lot! to my **twin**, to my beta, **Joy**, to **ChinaEyes**, **-bentesiyete-**, **Raine**, **Kitzune**, **Yasu**, **Eunice**, **Bez**, **JM**, **Dino**, **Kare**, **1mig**, **April**, **BnB**, **pookies**, **mike** and to everyone who know me! ^-^ Bwahahahahha... ^-^ Thanks guyz!

R & R pleaze? *plead*

see ya in the next chappie [i hope],

say-chan ^-^


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